Wednesday, March 30, 2016

New Release: Unseen Messages by Pepper Winters

From New York Times Bestseller Pepper Winters comes a timeless love story answering the question of what happens when everything is stripped away.

"There is a message for everything. From handwritten to verbal, seen and unseen. Messages exist all around us."

But what if you don't see?
What if you don't understand?
What if, by ignoring the message, your life is never the same again?

Estelle Evermore morphed from nobody to somebody overnight.

Galloway Oak put his past behind him and endeavored to make his fortune using his trade.

Two strangers.
One plane.
Multiple unseen messages.

From sky to island, they find neither fame nor skills can save them. Stripped from society and left alone to survive the elements, the very task of staying alive outweighs all other needs.

Until survival turns to desire.
And desire turns to danger.

AMAZON    iBooks    Nook    Kobo    Google Play


Pepper Winters is a NYT and USA Today International Bestseller. She wears many roles. Some of them include writer, reader, sometimes wife. She loves dark, taboo stories that twist with your head. The more tortured the hero, the better, and she constantly thinks up ways to break and fix her characters. Oh, and sex... her books have sex.

She loves to travel and has an amazing, fabulous hubby who puts up with her love affair with her book boyfriends. She's also honoured to wear the IndieReader Badge for being a Top 10 Indie Bestsellers, best BDSM series voted by the SmutClub, and recently signed a two book deal with Grand Central. Her books are currently being translated into numerous languages and will be in bookstores in the near future.

To be the first to know of upcoming releases, please join Pepper's Newsletter (she promises never to spam or annoy you.)


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Abby's Review: Echo by E.K. Blair via Goodreads

Echo (Black Lotus, #2)Echo by E.K. Blair
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

5+ Nina vs Elizabeth Stars

In Echo, the story continues from where Bang left it. Nina Vanderwal found herself in a big mess. Her life turned upside down. Her polished life shattered. She was in pain and her pain wasn't for the one everyone assumed.

Elizabeth Archer lost her love, her anchor, her sanctuary...But most of all, she lost her identity and her reason to live. All she felt was the pain...

To find herself, to find something to keep going with her life she went to Scotland. She left the States to be near her lost love. Yet, she found a dark hope in the man she loved. But her love changed by something dark, twisted. He was marked anymore. He held the darkness in his eyes and she carried the guilt of that darkness. But at the same time, she was the only one who can take away that darkness, that pain.

I loved how this book showed every emotions, every feelings no matter how disturbing or twisted they were. It didn't sugar coat them, it made the reader embrace them.
Echo wasn't an easy book, it wasn't a book everyone can read.

"My choices-my decisions- they're poisonous. I used that poison for power, but it backfired."

In Bang, Elizabeth was strong and hide the skeletons inside her dark heart. But in Echo, she was vulnerable. She was a mess and she let herself feel. She let herself to be weak.
In the second book of the serial, Elizabeth let go all the lies and stripped herself bare to a man she loved. But while doing that she also tried to find herself.

"Life has taught me that heartache is inevitable, proving over and over that dreams are simply that-dreams. ─░maginative figments of our subconscious."

She risked herself to shatter with the trust toward the man who hates and loves her.

"I don't know if I'm ever going to get over this-if I'm ever going to get to the point where I don't want to punish you for what you've done. But I need you to understand something; I need you to know that even though you may feel pain, I will never hurt you. I will do everything to give you what was taken from you. I'm going to make you feel safe, I promise you that."

Echo ended with a big question, a cliffhanger. And I'm so curious and anxious at the same time how this story will end.

Abby's Review: Bang(Black Lotus#1) by E. K. Blair via Goodreads

Bang (Black Lotus, #1)Bang by E.K. Blair
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

5+ Bang bang shot me down Stars

Bang was on my TBR for so long and like all those great books I haven't read yet, it was haunting me to read it. My first book by E.K. Blair was total win. I knew this book would hurt me and it would be emotional but nothing would prepare me for this book.

Nina Vanderwal was a polished woman, the queen of the Chicago society . She was married with a man every woman desired, yet she was the only woman her husband set his eyes on. He was in love with her and they were magazine-like couple.

I was never safe, and this world hurt me beyond what I ever thought a human could be hurt.

Declan McKinnon was the owner of Lotus, the new, exquisite hotel. He felt the pull toward someone he should have stayed away. Yet, he couldn't stay away. He fell, he became a pawn. But at the same time he became the shelter, the sanctuary, the power of safety.

The heart is a weapon-a self-inflicting weapon- that if not trained properly, can destroy a person.

Pike was the constant reminder of past . He was the past, the present and the future. He was the family, a bond which hard to break, a wittness of all the bad things and the anchor.

The truth they keep from you as a small child, allowing you to believe that fairytales are real...but they aren't. And neither is magic.

And then, there was Elizabeth Archer. She was brilliant and full of hate. She was strong yet so weak inside. She was one of the most complicated heroines I have ever read. She was the devil yet an angel. She was lost...

Bang was a roller-coaster. I cannot find the right words to describe my feelings as I read it. This book was like a dagger to my heart.
I felt the pain, sorrow, helplessness.
I felt the love, hate, anger.
In this book, I lost my hope, found it, just to lose it again.

Bang was an addicting read, I couldn't put it down. I was angry myself that I didn't read that book sooner but now, I'm glad I've read it now. Because the waiting would be crazy for me.

If you want to read painfully captivating story this book is THAT book.

My DARK BOOK for DARK BOOKS week on Shh.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Snow's Review: Desperately Seeking Epic by B.N. Toler via Goodreads

Desperately Seeking EpicDesperately Seeking Epic by B.N. Toler
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

5+ EPIC stars

This rarely happens to me, not being able to write my feelings down…it usually works just fine, almost like a compulsive disorder, it's like my hands are typing on their own secret language with a secret connection to my brain…but right now...
In the process of writing this I am a mess.

BN Toler's books happen to have that kind of effect on me. Every time.
And this book is no diferent.

Desperately seeking Epic…a story one can't just sum up in a few sentences cause one might miss smth important out and not give this book justice.

A story that starts out with a pleading add of a search, displaying a plead of a dying 12 year old girl who seeks a man called Epic, who happens to be her father whom she never met. She's desperately seeking for him before it's too late, for her…and for him. Paul James also known as EPIC for his stunt work had no knowledge of any of this, his return home after 13 years of absence will turn out to be the unexpected chapter in the greatest story ever, called LIFE.

And this is how I became involved with a remarkable young person, Neena, a girl with a strength of a Goliath, who will make her dying wish come true…that would too, end up being her EPIC adventure by bringing two people who love each other back together again. Uniting them through pain, tears, laughter, passion and desire for life and love. As her add becomes a global phenomenon, a few highschool students make their mission to pass on the story for Neena, to honor her with a last „insight“ into her own life, how she became to be…

Clara Bateman and Paul James became business partners of a SKY HIGH -skydiving business by fate, I would say.
Clara was a young woman who needed a change in her life – after the misfortune of losing her parents in a drunk driving accident, she grew up into a fierce woman in so much need of love, she was in a marriage that didn't work out and she felt betrayed and unloved and alone again. So the sudden inheritance of a 50 shares of a skydiving business, she knew nothing about, meant a life savor, a perfect opportunity to start over!

Paul was an adventureur, an ex stuntman for the movies who accepted his uncle's other half of the business after his injuries prevented him to continue with the hazardous work. He's a resteless soul in need of an adrenaline, excitments, he's a soul without roots…he's the untamed spirit always in pursuit of freedom...
Settling down meant losing my freedom, and my freedom was too precious to me. I needed to be able to pack up on a whim and hop a plane to Brazil, or anywhere, if I felt the need.

He was self-absorbed, self-assured, a player, and an asshole by default...
"I dont do babies and white picket fences."
Paul James is one of the most selfish men I have ever known

They both started off on bad terms, fighting, yelling, not giving in, and the staff working with them gave Clara hell, never quite making her welcomed, especially Marcus, Paul's best friend and confidant...
BUT still, they were the opposites attract...
With Paul, it was day to day. Some days we got along just fine, others he thought I was a raging bitch and I thought he was an entilted asshole.
We were so weitrd together then. We started off enemies. Then we called a truce and proclaimed peace in the name of our business partnership. Were we besoming friends now?

After hard start, they slowly got passed their issues and developed an understanding that turned into a slow friendship that eventually blew up in passionate flames that had to be extinguished.
That night, we clawed at each other, fingers digging into flesh, desperate, hungry for mor. I wanted to soak her in, absorb her, take every drop of her. For every bit I gave , she met it with just as much gusto. It was beautiful.

That passionate relationship where „those three little words“ were never spoken but were lingering around them abruptly ended over a misunderstanding, over a note that held Clara's thoughts of one random desperate longing and whishful longing that were never meant to be seen by anyone...BUT those words set Paul's restless spirit into a run...a 13 years long run
They were two potent words that I wasn't sure, no matter how much I loved Clara, I could give her. I needed freedom and adventure. And I couldn't promise her something I couldn't give. I wasn't built that way. I just wasn't. Maybe with her, the idea was easier to swallow, but I wasn't ready for even the idea of it.

Without goodbye, without a note, wothout a word.
Surely a dick move.

Clara's world turned upside down and one moment that left her shaterred again and alone brought her another huge change and the greatest gift of all...Neena.

The parts of Clara and Paul's past are interwoven with the current lives of Neena,Clara and Marcus...and after Paul's finding out that he has a daughter...and that his daughter is dying...those lives become even more intangled since there's so much to lose and so little time to feel, experience, to hold onto...

Paul is actually a different man after this acknowledgment and he sets his goal, he turns his whole world towards that little girl whose destiny was unfairly written...
She becomes his center of the universe, while along his dormant feelings for Clara burst out with each encounter, with each worry, with each struggle they try to fight off in fighting the unevitable odds in the game they can't win.
I have promised myself two things. One: never give up. I will fight to save her untill the bitter end. Two: try to make every single day as happy as I possibly can for her, just in case…in case we lose.

Clara is strong from the outside but her heart is breaking inside, her feelings for Paul are awaken again, and she dislikes the potent power he has over her even after so long...they were never gone.
„Look at me. I fucked up,“ he rasps. „I know it. I've always known it. But I did love you, and I've never stopped. Hate me for leaving. Hate me for being a dick. But don't hate me because I didn't love you.“

So, in the darkest hours when Paul says:
I'm here, Clara, I'm here for you.

Even after all these years he's missed out on everything...I believed him.
The second chance they both got was because of that little girl's dying wish, because of her desperate search that was far from a desperate attempt in the first place.
This kid could give a lesson in strength. I could see what Neena meant when she said she was afraid to die. I don't think she meant she fears the actual act – at least not entirely – but she fears its aftermath. She's afraid of what dying will do to the people she loves. She's afraid of what will happen to her mother when she's gone. She's the strongest kid I have ever met – strongest person for that matter.

Every moment could be the last one. Every breath is precious. Every single word counts as forever. Every thread of a dream is a possibility of an immortality in the lives that go on...
„How long do we have?“
„A few months, maybe half a year, if we're lucky.“
„Will you let me stay? Will you let me have this time with her, too?“

I can't really shorten this experience, I can only try to present the depth of the events that went on in this story. Even when they finished one journey too early it went on on a deeper, higher level...

I loved Clara. She was a truly remarkable heroine. A true heroine. A mother. A fighter. Even when the obvious was not the real thing presentable her strength was undeniable and unmistakable.
„I know Paul was the adventurer…the fearless risk-taker. I know they joked how you never jumped, but if you think about it…you did.“
„You left your home and moved to a different state, taking on a job you knew nothing about. You bought a house on your own; fixed it mostly on your own. You had a baby as a single woman. It may not be jumping out of planes, but it sounds like one hell of an adventure to me.“
„You're pretty badass, Clara“

Paul redeemed himself in my eyes towards the end. He was a complete person even if he had to acknowledge the fear, the unjust, the unfairness, the helplessness, the despair...he found himself through the role he never imagined was possible for him.
I never imgined I could find such peace in this type of life. I never imagined feeling like a family would satisfy me. But it does. It's everything. They are everything. And that's what I tell them when I whisper, „Everything that matters is right here in my arms.“

Neena – the most difficult part of the story to read about and yet the most beautiful one. The way this girl was portrayed made my heart burst in so much emotions, I can't even begin to describe. She was the guiding light, she was the strenght, she was the force within and the most precious gift.

„You were a gift, something I thought I'd never have. You are by far my greatest accomplishment, Neena. I'm honored to be your mother. It's been my greatest privilege. Thank you for being more than I could have ever hoped for. Thank you for the joy and laughter you have brought into my life. Thank you for the kisses, the tickles, and hugs. I'm so proud of you, of who you are. I love you so much, baby.“

It's one of those moments, and I know I'll never forget. I wish I could freeze it, or somehow box it; trap it so we never lose it. Here we are, with our friends and our daughter. Our daughter is sick, weakening before our very eyes, and she's laughing. How many more might we get? I'd give anything to see that smile forever. I've missed a lifetime of these moments…her lifetime of moments.
I stood and looked down at my daughter. She was mine. She was the best of me.
„You are my most epic adventure, princess.“

" good-byes...
There's only see you later. And untill we meet again."

This moment. With my daughter who is smiling.

„Life is too short to be subtle.“

LIVE bold. LIVE fully. LIVE in each and every single MOMENT.

HIGHLY EXPECTED READ by one of my FAVORITE authors!!! And I got MORE than I hoped for.

BR with my guuurl DENISE

View all my reviews

Abby's ARC Review: Dark Notes by Pam Godwin via Goodreads

Dark NotesDark Notes by Pam Godwin
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

5+ Let's play Old-Guy's Rock Stars

Pam Godwin was the author I've always wanted to read but couldn't find the time to. When I heard her new books, Dark Notes, I was on the cloud nine. I made up my mind to start reading her with her latest release. And then, I saw Dark Notes was forbidden romance between teacher and student. So yeah, I was sold.
I've been thinking for hours how to write a review about this book. I'm afraid my review will not do the justice to this book. But, I'll try, really...

Ivory Westbrook was seventeen years old girl who lost her father three years ago. She lived in Treme with her so-called-brother and so-called-mother. At the age of seventeen she's been through so many things.
Things that will make the person bleed inside out...Things that will make the person weaker everyday.
But Ivory was different. She was the living form of "what doesn't kill you make you stronger."

Ivory Westbrook was strong. She was determined, hopeful. She lived her life with a simple motto:
Everything is possible.

Even though she was poor, abused, lack of affection, lack of love she was standing tall on her own feet. She was innocent in the filthiness around her. And she walked with straight spine, chin-up, eyes ahead. She kept her secret smile on her face with each step she took in the school hallway.

She stands out among everyone in this school. Not because of the drab style of her white button-up and tattered black skirt, but she shines above her financial limitations, radiating the kind of beauty that can't be bought. Everything looks lackluster in comparison to the glow of her skin, the brightness of her eyes, and the potency of her aura.

Emeric Marceaux was a young music teacher in the Le Moyne. His intention was so much different when he came to the school. The only thing he thought was to have his job. But even in the first day, his plans were jeopardized by a forbidden, young and beautiful girl.

They were captivated by each other.
Their sexual tension was enough to set fire with one gaze. Ivory's sexuality had woken up with Emeric's dominance, honesty and his kinky way of teaching her the painful pleasure. And Emeric was drawn to her. Because Ivory's feistiness was his fuel. Her obedience was his fire.

They were a timeless concerto, together. They composed their own materpiece. A song that will never end.

Dark Notes looks like a steamy forbidden romance at first glance. It is...But it has so much more than that. It is about keeping the dreams no matter what the situation is. It is about being brave enough to face with life.
Dark Notes is about the Ivory's story of finding herself, figuring out her dreams and experiencing the pleasure over pain.
But mostly it is being strong enough to hope. Brave enough to tattoo your hopes on your skin. Believing in "Someday My Prince Will Come."

I fell in love with Emeric.
I was in awe of Ivory's strength.
And I was bewitched by Pam Godwin's talent of storytelling.
This book was hard to put down. And even if you can put it down, you won't be able to stop thinking about Mr. Marceaux.
Hottest Teacher Ever!

Advance Reading Copy is generously provided by author, Pam Godwin, in exchange for an honest review.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Snow's Review: Entropy by Joshua Edward Smith via Goodreads

EntropyEntropy by Joshua Edward Smith
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

4 the most complicated stars ever

"Cerebral and erotic, Entropy explores the murky depths of an online affair and how upheaval of the status quo reverberates through a woman’s life and sense of self."

This was truly the most perplexed, complicated, complexed, intriguing, pushing on boundaries story I haven't read in a long, long time...

It's actually hard to tell it in a few simple sentences cause there's nothing fuckin simple about the story - it deals with the perception of an "affair" as we know it - is it an affair if it's not physical, I think on one level it is, if it harms and affects others around you, if it's destructable, then yes, I don't care if you cheat with your mind, body or soul, you still cheat BUT here, the lines are "effin" blurred and it messed with the concept I kept in my head - but the story pulls you into so much more intensity and chaos and messy and complicated stuff, emotional, sexual, mental...

The story evolves around Lisa - a mother of two grown children, a housewife in a lovless marriage, her husband Roger cheated on her twice, well that she knew of, and she forgave him, and had occasional sex with him too, so it was all a charade, in my opinion, or the lack of her guts why did she stay in such an union, you'd ask, I asked myself that too, more than once...and all I got as an answer is "out of social convinience", i guess, or maybe I am wrong *shrugs* IDK, anymore...

Anyway, I didn't like Lisa, I think I still don't like her BUT she actually gets to you towards the end- she was almost fifty and she was still a shallow, superficial woman, obssessed with the outside features, her body, working out, fake boobs and of course the "attention", the "longing looks" from other men, she manupulated with her features and yet she was really not capable to set her life straight cause she has let her true inner self be shoved, pushed and stomped on. She's actually a very unhappy person and she doesn't even know it. She's also a social media junkie - FB, Twitter, you name it, she's on it...a lot! And one encounter leads from flirtation, into the crush, that enters another level of sinking into the D/s relationship on a pure emotional aspect and that eventually exceeds into the loving affair...
...she was flattered that he had interest in her.
This was a peculiar man, but he fascinated her. She wanted more. She wanted a lot more.

Sir was everything that her husband wasn't. And even more...
BUT the allure to that kind of connection was potent and high even if it had no prospect of ever becoming physical...well, at least we are lead to believe so....
Whether being sexually desired was important to her, or whether having someone just love her for her was more important. She wished she didn't have to choose.

She's in a constant mindwhirl of all this notions -wright/wrong, true/false, sincerity/lies, imaginary/real and she's struggling to get a hold of it all, through emotional breaks, then build ups, shattering collapses, lift-ups dealing with a huge span of emotions described through the BDSM tactical action where the power of the word takes her higher into the imaginary sexually exploit than she could ever feel on a physical basis...

their interaction is intense and highten to the unimaginable's all consuming, blinding and's disturbing and yet calming...they are "on and off", starting then ending it...caving in, breaking apart, staying away, searching...the neverending search

"It's like there is a hurricane of entropy around me. A circle of calm created by you. Order. Obedience. Appreciation. Validation. It's all there, driving away the entropy.

Her life takes a bad turn - disease, death, divorce - hit the fan shattering her to pieces...and helping her through out the process of gradually healing and salvaging what was always in her but never had the opportunity to fully being acknowledged and fulfilled - is the relationship that Sir holds her in, pulling her broken pieces into a submissive order so the compulsive desire and the painful need to be loved could be believable...

"Entropy is disorder. Randomness. Chaos.
Entropy doesn't go away on its own, but we can impart order.
The chaos is all around us, and it grows.
It can be very overwhelming.
It can deaden your senses to what's important.
But if we impart order on that chaos, everything changes.
You can find peace."

this book is very hard to present and stay on the right course, it had several triggers for me, personally and I really tried to look at it from a different angle, but to tell you the truth I don't think I would have done the same ordeal that Lisa has.
Actually i think I would have done just the opposite. I would have cut it all in the core and start again fresh...
so, thankfully I am not her, cause otherwise there wouldn't be any basis for this kind of story...LOL

the third person narration actually made the pace in just the perfect tone for the tempo of developments in Lisa's life, you could easily stay back and watch it unravel...
maybe if told in first person would have made a larger impact on a reader, hmmm, I could not say that with I'll stick to the original feeling.

the only time the whole narrating process set a slower atmosphere was when all the "physics and math and smart stuff" were presented through Sir's words... that was just, well...not for me! LOL

All in all, tough, compelling, intriguing read...that makes you think

A Copy provided by the author in exchange for an honest review

View all my reviews

Monday, March 21, 2016

Abby's Review: Snatch by Scott Hildreth via Goodreads

SNATCH: A Dark EroticaSNATCH: A Dark Erotica by Scott Hildreth
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

4 "You're going to die anyway" Stars

My third read by Scott Hildreth was so much different than the first two. And it was good different...As a thriller book lover, I'm always interested in these kinds of stories. Snatch was indeed a thriller, a psychologic thriller.

This book caught my attention not from the prologue, it kept me captive from the dedication part and to be honest, the dedication was giving away the story pretty well.

Ryan Capshaw studied Psychology. He was interested in human mind, how it works and what affects the decision process. He was also interested in death, the idea of death and survival.
Not a good combination, right?

Ryan Capshaw was intelligent, determined, hungry for success and money, confident -on the surface- and pretty good-looking. With all of his attributes, he was charming, charismatic and intriguing.

This was one side of the coin, one side of Ryan Capshaw.

The other side was totally another story.

The other side was still eleven years old, stripped bare, crying little boy.
The boy who found the peace in the scent of flowers.
The boy who had to find enough courage to ask out a girl. The way he found confident might not be the best but that was the intention, anyway.
The boy who wanted to be succesful, acceptance, respect and the boy who wanted to be praised.
The boy who was still trying to find himself, his direction, his north star...

Snatch showed some people were broken, more than others, but even those broken pieces were meant to find each other to create something twisted.

Snatch was a good read. It was twisted, dark. It had good amount of sex. The storyline was intelligently molded and put together.

Then why I gave 4 stars to this book?
Because in some parts I wished it had more inner thoughts. I wanted to understand the reason of some particular actions. It was unexpected, for sure, but I wish I could travel in the mind of madness more. That's why it left me with a few questions.

But beside this little disconnection(in my part), I truly enjoyed reading this book. And I recommend it if you don't look for a romance. If you want to read dark, intelligent read and if you want to travel into madness...Here is the book for you.

Don't be afraid to read it,
Fuck it, you're going to die anyway

Friday, March 18, 2016

Abby's Review: One Day Soon by A. Meredith Walters via Goodreads

One Day Soon (One Day Soon, #1)One Day Soon by A. Meredith Walters
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

5+ -Tell me a story- Stars

This is the first book I've read by Meredith Walters. But I believe this will not be the last.
Like always, I didn't read any review about this book. I love discovering every tiny piece on my own. But I knew most of my friends liked this book and I knew this book was emotional. I didn't need to know more than that.

Imogen Conner was the neglected child. When she decided it was better to live on the streets than living in a loveless house, her life changed completely.
She tasted love, vulnerability, fear, hunger, betrayal, hope, friendship, loss...She felt every kind of emotion that changes her whole life.
She found her happy life. But it caused her a broken heart.

Yossarian Frazier had nothing. He didn't have the luxury of taking something for granted. He made decisions and he live the consequences of them. He escaped from a nightmare to another. His life was far from great but he still had the hope of a happy life.
And he found it when he saw the girl on the floor, blood on her hands and scared look on her face.

Two young souls bound together, had innocent feelings in the darkness, under the shadow of survival. But life wasn't easy for them. Closing the eyes didn't erase the bad things that happened in the dark alleys, around them, to them. Love didn't erase the shame or guilt clawed into their souls.
Love kept them prisoner.
Broken promises caused tears.

He found me in blood and tears.
I stayed with him through darkness and fire.
We loved each other in the moment between innocence and bitter truth.
We were the kids easily ignored, who grew into adults we hardly knew.
We weren’t meant to last forever. And we didn’t.

He ran away.
I tried to move on.
Yet I never stopped thinking about the boy who had fought to keep me alive in a world that would have swallowed me whole. He was the past that I buried, but never forgot.

Fifteen years later, life gave them a second chance in a twisted way. There was still the same fear of losing. There was still strong love after all those years. But there was also heartache, questions that needed to be answered. And they still needed the chance to be together again.
They both grew into adults but they were still teenagers deep down.

Most people get over their first loves. They picked up the pieces and moved on.
That hadn't been possible for me.
Because what Yoss and I had shared was more than first love.
It was deeper than adolescent lust and affection.
It had been soul changing.
Life altering.
It had been reckless attachment during bleak, dangerous times. It had been a light in a murky darkness that had almost consumed us both

One Day Soon was a well-written, heart-breaking story. It was hard to read from time to time. It gave me heartache from the first page. Even it didn't give away so many details, it was enough to cause deep feelings. It was enough to hurt. When I finished reading this book I was one breath away of crying.
One Day Soon didn't polish bad situations, it embraced them. There was only dim light in the darkness, enough to hope, enough to love but not enough to be together.

I truly recommend this book for every emotional book lovers. It will teach you not to judge anyone, it will make you believe in second chances, happy lifes.

And it will teach you one more thing:

A happy story doesn't always have a happy ending.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Snow's Review: Where One Goes by B.N. Toler via Goodreads

Where One GoesWhere One Goes by B.N. Toler
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

6 "this-messed-me-up-in-a-good-way" stars

I'm in a deep emotional state right now, so my review will be posted later...

This is gonna be the longest review I’ve ever written cause there are no simple words to say how I feel and I’m sure I’m gonna miss something after I’m done…

This was an unusual choice for me and it was recommended to me by my dearest friend ANA cause I was in a totally overdrived state of mind LOL and she offered a way out of it. I didn’t read it then.

The first thought after reading the blurb was: the hell is this? She falls in love with the ghost? Damn, I’m not in a mood for that.
And I’ve put it on hold for a while.

Don’t get me wrong, I will read anything that stirs my interest, but to be honest this book was not it at that time.

Then my friend Kathleen said I should read it…and I still wasn’t ready.

You see if there’s a lot of crying involved I need to be prepared for it. LOL So, I did. I prepared myself for the emotional breakdown as I call it…hahah

And here we go, right down to it! THIS BOOK changed me!
It made me question my own beliefs about love, about completion, about second chances, about the belief itself.
It made me laugh.
It made me think and re-think.
It made me dream.
It made me sad.
It made me hopeful and yes,
It made me cry.

In short, Charlotte is a young woman who has a gift of seeing and hearing the dead and has been “helping” them to crossover for the past six year after she lived through her own tragic experience BUT now she’s drained and tired of being lonely, empty and broke and decides to end it all. In the last moment she’s saved by none other than a ghost. A Soldier named Ike. He makes her a deal. He’ll help her to build herself up again if she helps him with his brother George who’s having a difficult time in coping with the death of his sibling.
And the story further unravels an unexpected journey as for our characters and the readers, you do not expect the rise of the emotional high in such an intensity as one does…

NOTE: No, there are no actual answers given here about the death and the meaning of religious impacts, you won’t find it here…this scenery is set to develop a notion of what is possible to feel and to acknowledge as possible in the first place in dealing with the emotions in quantity and variety of them

"The brothers are so different, polar opposites in fact, that I find myself drawn to each one for different reasons. One is so strong and responsible; so much so, not even death can keep him from taking care of those he loves. The other, broken and lost, wishing time could rewind on one hand, but using any method necessary to forget time on the other.

In Ike, I crave his warmth and good heart. In George, I crave his likeness, the understanding we share."

About the heroine – Charlotte/Charnever had I encounter a heroine that made me happy she existed, she could be a role model on how to deal with loss, how to reaise yourself from bottom and take the life by the balls…excepting her own flaws, making the most of it on everyday basis, making herself open and accessible to new feelings, impossible feelings, that can never be true and grow with them…dealing with hardship with snarky humor and positive thinking…just wow, I bow to you!

I’m not into triangles, or multiple relationships or other messed up connections people get themselves into BUT I do believe that we can and that it is possible to love more than one person in our lives and that we do get to expand our hearts to that notion, we know of motherly love, lover’s love, friend’s love, love is not the one that should be labeled at all…it should be given in full without exceptions, without regrets BUT it should not be handled lightly or be used in order to hurt…so yes I’m expanding my heart toward that notion

And this story was so much more…it was a non-physical love that brought the kindered spirits and souls to know each other on a higher level, pure level of existence. It’s the story of how to keep on going, keep on surviving, keep on living and not just existing

I fell in love with both the dead one (Ike) and the living one (George)…LOL, I know is sounds freakish… but I fell for the notion of what they represented. They represented HOPE, PEACE, COMPLETION of being whole, being ready to live up to your own expectations, desires, wishes, dreams, being the human in full intensity of the word, being the SOUL that DOESN’T expire with the physical dead line…

My heart broke for Ike – a young life taken away too soon from his loved ones, he represented the unfairness of life and the second chance in comprehension of it, of making the most of the notion of what could have been, of what ifs and not regretting the misfortune of the situation of the fact that the life was not an option BUT what remained was the hope, hope of fulfillment through out the ones that are alive

My heart broke for George – the man who was lost and wounded, who existed in the shadows of his physical shell BUT didn’t live…he found redemption, he found forgivness, he found a second chance, he found love and was saved by the notion that things DO NOT end with death. They are meant to be apart so one can mend it and make it whole again, NEVER the same BUT different whole.

Cause it’s not about the death, death is a part of life, it’s the living that is hard, those who are left behind are supposed to move on, grow and make themselves whole over and over again…dying is the easy part!

This is the first book that had secondary characters that were as equally important to me as the main ones – Sniper (large, pierced, thud of a man, ex-military who warmed my heart with his loyalty, snarky lines and big heart of his own); Anna (perky blonde who’s warmth and openness made Charlotte welcomed without hesitation); Mr and Mrs Mercer (an old couple who lost their daughter, good doers who take Char under their wings); Ike and George’s family, especially Cameron, the youngest brother (boy, he made me laugh on several occasions)…

This book made me grow in so many ways and it will stay with me for a long time…

it made me laugh…

“How the hell did you cut your ass, but not your hands or knees?”
“I’m talented in the arts of clumsiness. I’m a sensei, really,” she retorts and he chuckles.
“I think you’re going to have to pull these down, Charlotte.”
“No fucking way!” she almost shrieks as she straightens to a stand. “I’m not putting my bare ass in your face, George.”
“I can’t see the full cut.” George leans back, fighting the grin that wants to break out across his face.
“You’re going to have to pull them down.”

It made me swoon…

“I asked you to dance because like every other guy here, I want to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room.”

It made me braver, more persistant…

“But you’ve seen more of me than anyone has in a long time.
All the ugly parts. Things I’m not proud of.”
“I want to know all of you, too. The good, the bad, and the ugly.”
“You should go home, Charlotte,” he moans in pain. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”
Taking his hand in mine, I kiss it. “I’m not going anywhere. The good, the bad, and the ugly . . . remember?”

Made me hopeful…and open to new aspects…

“So to answer your question, I do believe you, and I believe in you. And no matter how intense your gift may make life sometimes, I want to be a part of it. Charlotte . . . I want you. All of you. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I love you.”

There will always be a part of me that feels empty. Ike was my twin, and his absence is palpable. I feel it with every breath I take. But I know now I can survive it. And instead of letting the memory of him and the loss of him hinder me, I’ll let it strengthen me. My brother saved me. My brother gave me her; the woman he loved.

Where one goes…I figured out it’s not the location we’re looking for, it’s the peace, a solemn place for the living ones that stay behind and even if I don’t know the answer to the question of where one goes… what I DO know is that one NEVER actually leaves.
They stay IN you forever.

I've related to two songs for each of the characters that carved their way into my heart, Ike and George, and their connection with Charlotte - they are connected but still apart and there’s no way to make them separate on any level other than physical presence…

Ike and Char
Although there’s no physical contact between Ike and Charlotte the connection they have makes it even more palpable and painfully sad and the song really says it all transferring the higher meaning of it…the notion of moving on, of realizing the impossible and making it worth it…

Hold me now
by Johnny Logan
Don't don't close your heart to how you feel
Dream and don't be afraid the dream's not real
Close your eyes pretend it's just the two of us again
Make believe this moment's here to stay

Touch touch me the way you used to do
I know tonight could be all I'll have with you
From now on you'll be with someone else instead of me
So tonight let's build this memory for the last time

Hold me now don't cry don't say a word just
Hold me now and I will know though we're apart
We'll always be together forever in love
What do you say when words are not enough

Time time will be kind once we're apart and
Your tears tears will have no place in your heart I wish
I I could say how much I'll miss you, when you're gone
All my love for you will go on and on and

Hold me now don't cry don't say a word just
Hold me now and try to understand
That I hope at last you've found what you've been searching for
And though I won't be there anymore I will always love you

George and Char
A broken man that hides behind the vices to hide and dull his own pain and shattered soul, who’s not aware of his own life passing by and going to waste…this is the green light, the hope lingering around him, the push so much needed to wake him up, to take the chance in love, to forgive himself and start living again…so, what are you waiting for…wake up and see what's right in front of you...fight for it

I wanna wake up with you
by Boris Gardiner
I wanna wake up with you
I wanna be there when you open your eyes
I want you to be
The first thing that I see
I wanna wake up with you

I wanna lay by your side, baby
I wanna feel every beat of your heart
And throughout the night
I wanna hold you tight
I wanna wake up with you

All the love inside me has been sleeping
Waiting till the right one came along
You can share the love that I've been keeping, baby
You can put the music to my song

I wanna wake up with you
I wanna reach out and know that you're there
I want you to be
The first thing that I see
I wanna wake up with you

And throughout the night
I wanna hold you tight
I wanna wake up with you...

One of the best books I’ve read lately

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Snow's Review: Kulti by Mariana Zapata via Goodreads

KultiKulti by Mariana Zapata
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

5 "for the love of the game" stars
5 "why the fuck haven't I read this before" stars
5 "I can't wait for the European football championship 2016 to start" stars...

nah, I'm kiddin' about that last one...OR not *snickers*

People, let me tell you, this book was a discovery...

and I will make my full review in a bit...

Actually, I will just make my statement here that this goes into my "best in 2016" shelf and "favorites" one...

When the story grips you with its tantacles, reaching into the most private and hidden nerves of one's being with the simplicity of the event - cause there isn't actually "a story as in the pouring of the events" its a NOTION its a MANIFEST of LIVING, when you share a dream, when you play the game, when you breathe with full lungs, when you are eager to hold your eyes open out of angst that you'll miss something in a blink, when you can't wait to fullfil your destiny as a a unity...and you fight to keep in safe, to cherish it and make it whole, complete...

this book actually touched so many subjects in life, that I regard it as a presentation of that one MOMENT in TIME, one time of a journey on a destined road where two souls are connected in a way one can't easily describe or make logical...
“Every single thing that has ever happened in my life has led me here, Sal. Destiny is a ladder, a series of steps that takes you where you’re supposed to go. I am the man that I am, and I have done the things that I’ve done, to get me to you.”

it's a story of two people who happen to come together in ONE moment in time...

where they have the opportunity, a chance to reach their potential professionally, emotionally, mentally, on every possible level a human being can excell for himself/herself...

“when you have love, you find a way to make things work.”

it's a story of love, love that slowly grows and conquors every inner cell, muscle, atom of one's being...
where two adult people are given an opportunity to grow together, supporting each other and making them better individuals...

“You are my equal, my partner, my teammate, my best friend.”

I loved this book...from the moment I started reading I felt that warm, cosy feeling that enveloped me and kept me lulled in the cradle of tranquility of the notion that - yes, beautful stories can be based and taken from the realms of real life and yes, these stories are a reminder that there can be a beautiful, soulful, meaninful and real feeling of completion in acceptance of your own dreams, strength in your detemination to grow, expand and seeing those dreams happen in knowing that...
“A dream is just a wish without a plan.” in fact a phenomenal start to begin with....

Phenomenally written and portrayed characters...that both won me over...
Reiner Kulti - a retired German soccer superstar, that was once a prodigy child of football, and now being a man of brooding, grumpy and arrogant - not so shiny personality. A man with a little words to share and a deep and scary stare who finds a second chance at everything.
“This is what matters. You are my gift, my second chance, and I will cherish you and your dream. I will protect both of you.”
“Soccer has given me everything, but it’s also taken away just as many things.” He gave me a sad determined look. “I don’t want it to take you away as well..."

and even though Kulti is described as having a reddish brown hair and brown-green eyes from the first pages I had the one and only Michael Ballack (who is a real GERMAN football star and retired too) on my mind, cause well, duh?! (Nuf said...just look...)

and I need to stop drooling now...

I can't forget the heroine - who actually guides us through the story - a 27 year old woman who "loves what she does and does what she loves". She's a spirited, sassy and funny young woman that grabs the life by the balls,
“I had this one life, and if I didn’t make the best of it, then what was the point?”

that fights for her dreams,
“You don’t get to live your dreams by waiting around for someone to hand them to you.”

she fights her inner little demons of insecurities, she's full blooded woman that stands for the righteousness, justice and etics, friendship and honesty...
“You are the most honest, good thing I’ve ever had. I won’t deny it to anyone.”
says Reiner!

That is the magnificent Salome "Sal" Casillas for me one of the best written fictional characters that you can actually strive for, look up to and try to live up to.

There's no visual presentation for her cause she could be me, you, I'll just imagine her as being free...

The funny, sassy banter between them, the "slow build up of chemistry" in from friends to lovers's all entwined in a vivid and palpable transfer of LIFE.


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